I want to go to sleep but I’m afraid to lay down. I know the nightmares will come. I have a living nightmare thinking about the nightmares in my sleep. I’m so frustrated. I want to give up. I want to stop trying. Why is life so hard? Why am I so fucked up? The short straw was definitely drawn by me. 

At least the weekend should be better. I have $250 that’s been burning in my wallet. It will get used this weekend. I’m done being the good daughter and church friend. Everyone will now have to deal with me. If they don’t like me, well, fuck ’em. 


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