Bilateral

I went for my weekly (?) ECT today. Since I didn’t have any seizure last week, I was a little worried and skeptical about today. From what I recall (and that sure isn’t much), my doctor and I jointly decided that bilateral ECT was the next best step in treatment. I remember waking up and barely knowing who I was, much less where I was. I always come out of anesthesia pretty quick. Today has been a blur. My mom took me and she said I was I gone for a long time. Ha, it only seemed like a couple minutes to me. 

The huge downside is losing your memory. My birthday was yesterday and we went up to visit my bother at school. I don’t remember. Luckily, we took pictures of all of us at lunch. I barely remember the outpatient program I’m in. I defiantly don’t remember how to get there. 

I accidentally texted the wrong person today. I meant to text my friend who was going to bring me to our small group’s thanksgiving dinner. Instead I messaged someone who I think I was friends with but am not now. Sad thing is, I don’t remember why we aren’t. He didn’t reply so I still don’t know anything. Oh well, if we’re meant to be friends we will drift back together. I did miss our small group’s dinner. I couldn’t wake up in time and can’t shake that weird dizzy type feeling. 

I’m optimistic that tomorrow will be a better day. I should remember more. At least I have almost no depression! My dog and I are going to go downstairs and hang out now.  

 

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