It’s all gravy

Finally, it’s all starting to work! I feel pretty amazing today. Not the manic craziness, the I’m starting to get better and am so proud of myself. I have worked so hard to heal my mind. Never before have I taken a program so seriously.

I do the homework, watch the videos suggested, add the apps, do the yoga and meditation. I love how I feel. Yeah, I’ve had some stressors this week. My mom has still been mom, but I’ve set some great boundaries! I told her to stop going through my things and to stop nagging me. She was less than thrilled. In the end it’s going to be way better because I won’t feel that my space is being intruded upon.

I went to a support group, had dinner with a good friend before that, attended my small group’s Christmas party, went to a Christmas party with my friend, went to the craziness of Walmart one night, and yesterday got my nails done and had some me time. I could’ve had another bad week if I didn’t do those things and had a bad attitude again. I chose to do all those things and to take php seriously with an open mind. I couldn’t sleep one night, so I got up and took a shower and then did some yoga. Yeah, I fell asleep after that. I’m loving meditation and yoga. Somehow it calms me down and picks me up at the same time.

I get to see my younger brother tonight. He doesn’t start his internship until the 4th. I hope to get in some quality time with him. After his internship ends in March, I think he’ll be back at school until he graduates with his master’s degree in Spring 2017 (yeah he’s an entire year ahead than he should be). He’s a pretty darn awesome kid and I’m extremely proud of him. I talked to my older brother last night. I pretty much always have good conversations with him now. I want to change the amount of time I spend with my brothers. I take them for granted. I am extremely lucky we still have good relationships. I’ve put them through such pain and distress with all my suicide attempts. I am going to try and call them at least once a week. That’s just an hour out of my schedule per week. I can definitely do that.

It’s now time for meditation and yoga. I’m listening to some Christian music now. Life is good. 🙂

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