I know why I have so much hate, so much anger and hurt towards him. He’s a bully. Plain and simple. If you mess up, or he views it as such, in any way, he finds joy in yelling and arguing with you. He does this until you’re sufficiently belittled, crying, angry, whatever negative emotion he can get out of you. Change needs to, must, happen, but it never will. For change is too uncomfortable and too much work for someone who is deep down hurting or sick as well.