What’s killing me

I think my weight is killing me. Yesterday, I had to do things all over town and didn’t eat dinner until eight. Today, I slept the entire day and my body aches all over. Somehow this is what I feel I deserve. This is just another way I’m slowly killing myself. The binge eating (which has gotten tons better), not exercising enough, just overall not being as healthy as I can is my way of saying, “fuck you” to my body. 

It’s really pretty sad and pathetic. Tonight my mom told me that she and best friend will have been friends for 50 years in only three more years. I’m struggling to keep my friendship of two years to last. 

I don’t know if I am being extra hard on myself tonight or extra honest. Either way, it sucks. 


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