In about 12 hours I have my usual Tuesday afternoon therapy session. Except this one is going to be different. I need help. I think I’m abusing my benzos again. This time is different than the others. I’ve been in bed for days not able to get out. My anxiety it through the roof. Don’t run out of your Klonopin on the weekend and not have a secret stash. Well, I used up my secret stash, and my Ativan stash too. My heart feels like it’s going to explode.
I guess I either need to get off this stuff (I’ve been on for 15 years) or I need to get on a dose where I can take it in smaller quantities in smaller intervals throughout the day. All I can think about is picking up that prescription tomorrow and popping one of those perfectly round tiny blue pills into my mouth.
I hate living like this. I hope I have the courage to ask someone for help.